Everyone is crazy about falling in love but then why do so many relationships fall apart so often?
According to a host in California news live, various surveys have shown that the number of singles living in the city has been gradually increasing since 1960.
Why is that? We present the 4 main reasons where people go about relationships in the wrong way.
- Love is a choice
People take it for granted that the love that they feel will somehow carry on forever without obtrusion and if it doesn’t then something is wrong with the relationship. A very dire view when you think about it. The excitement and butterflies from the start of a relationship are temporary, it comes from the excitement of the “Newness” and by extension, that novelty will, without fail, run out in a matter of weeks to months. From that point on loving your partner will be a choice you will have to make on the daily basis, keep it up from day one and you will find you are acting more invested in your partner.
- Long term relations are about tolerance
Tolerance is something people actively seem to ignore when it comes to their partner and romance. Like the choice to love your partner, tolerating them is also a choice and that means it takes active effort to listen to them complain about things or talk about things you are in no mood to absorb. But none the less it is vital to take time out for your partner and discuss things you like or dislike about each other to generate a relationship based on mutual respect and tolerance.
- Feeding insecurities
Humans are social animals and so it’s unsurprising that we come packed with insecurities about ourselves and our social value. It’s from the fear projected by these insecurities that we strive to push ourselves to do better. However, these same insecurities become a problem when we feed them too much and instead develop jealousy and controlling behavior. We go from appreciating our partners to developing concerns that these same traits will attract others to them and they will leave us. It is important to discuss such feelings with our partners and find solutions to things instead of letting these ideas fester in the mind until it becomes acid that dissolves the relationship from the inside out.
- Lack of communication
Communicating with your partner is not a matter of simply speaking words at them. A relationship with good communication involves active participation in discussions and the exchange of information not just about events at work but about the emotional state of your partner. It’s a matter of accepting that arguments and debates are perfectly normal in any relationship. Some would say that arguments are fights are actually a huge part of being in a relationship and pretty unavoidable. It’s perfectly okay to express you have a problem with something and even more so to listen and try to understand when your partner expresses their grievance.